Friday, September 29, 2006

Same old...

Not a whole lot of news to write about. My counts are still down, and I'm still feeling bad. I'm weary, we're all weary. Tonight I can't stop crying, but He has my tears in His bottle, right? I think it must be a very large one.

I'll be having the bone marrow biopsy sometime next week. They haven't told me what day yet, but that's the decision. We haven't heard yet about a donor match for my bone marrow transplant. They originally told us it took a week to get results back but when we called this week they said it takes two weeks. I get tired of miscommunication, it seems there is a lot of it. Bottom line, they told Brandon to call back October 3rd. Hopefully we will have an answer then. I am so blessed to have such a strong chance of a sibling match, but it is hard in the dark hours to wonder if that 10% won't win out in the long run, and then what if? I have to keep coming back to God's sovereignty. I know He's got it. I have to know that. It's the only thing that gets me through these days.

Gary is 10 months old today. I'm so thankful for him. I got to see him for a few minutes today.

Just FYI, I can receive e-mail, but not send any from the hospital for some reason. So if you've written me and are wondering about a reply, that's the deal. We're working on it, hopefully it will be working soon.

Thanks to Meam, Dixie, Aunt Susie & family for the cards.

28 comments:

Amber D.M. said...

My love and prayers are always with you! *hugs*

Holly said...

Amy,

You are often on my mind and always in my prayers. May you continue to find the strength to rest in God's loving arms during this unimagineable trial.

God Bless you.

Anonymous said...

Amy,
Thanks again for your honesty about how you're feeling and what your needs are. We continue to pray for your daily needs to be met by our Lord. You are right to rely on God's Sovereignty especially in your "darkest" hours, for He IS in control of all things and knows what you need. We enjoyed seeing your Gary at Elisabeth's shower last weekend. What a precious sight he is! (guess you already know that, right?!) :) The words of a song we sing speaks of God's presence as "no more night, no more pain, no more tears, never crying again, and praises to the Great I AM, we will live in the light of the Risen Lamb." Praying for a restful night for you.
Love, Clayton, Lisa, Sadie, and Maggie

eurogirl75 said...

My prayers are with you this weekend, Amy!!

Amy in AZ

Rachel Davis said...

Wanted to check on you before I went to bed...I'm sorry that it's been a rough one. I hate uncontrollable crying. All that running. :)

I pray that the peace of God, which passes ALL UNDERSTANDING will truly gaurd your heart through Christ Jesus.

Love you.

Leigh Taylor said...

Amy,
I am praying for you. You are such an inspiration in my life. Thank you for your testimony. I pray that someday I get to thank you in person. May Christ continue to show you His strength through all of this. As I am typing this, a hymn, Victory in Jesus, just came to me. (Imagine Emily Baker singing it to you) -Oh, Victory in Jesus, my Savior forever, He sought me and bought me with His redeeming blood. He loved me ere I knew him, and all my love is due him, he plunged me to Victory beneath the cleansing flood.

I am praying for continued Victory.

God Bless you!
Leigh Taylor
Sherman Oaks, CA

Anonymous said...

Amy,
I understand uncontrollable crying in the midst of suffering. God does hold each of your tears in a bottle. I too wonder how big my bottle will be. I am so glad to see that you know HE is in control.
I was reading this morning and thought I would share these verses with you as they were a comfort to me:
Isaiah 40:28-31
Hast thou not known? Hast thou not hear, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the Earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? There is no searching of His understanding.

He giveth power to the faint and to them that have no might He increaseth strength.

Even youths shall faint and be weary and the young men shall utterly fall.

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.

Love and prayers this weekend,
Gina

Patti Hobbs said...

Amy,

My niece had aplastic anemia; and after other treatments didn't work, she also had a bone marrow transplant. She only has two siblings and apparently (at least in her case) the ideal was to have six out of six matching parameters. Her brother that was the closest was a five out of six match, and even though she now has a different blood type (!), she is cured. I've been praying for you. You and a little boy with Down Syndrome who is having heart surgeries have been a lot on my mind.

Spaulding Family in KY said...

Amy,

We continue to keep you and your family in our prayers as well as keeping your name on the prayer list at our church. Continue looking to God, because HE is your Strength. In HIM you can find rest and peace though it may be hard to find it sometimes. Let us share some Bible verses with you...

"The Lord give His people strength. The Lord blesses them with peace." Psalm 29:11

"Then Jesus said, 'Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest...'" Matthew 11:28-30

We're sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time. Thanks for sharing your trials with us; it helps us know in what areas you need prayer. Illness is easier to deal with when you have God because you have a Hope to cling to.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'" Jeremiah 29:11

Praying that you will have a restful day today.

You are such an inspiration!

Love,
The Spaulding Family in KY

P.S. Christianne has sent us pictures of Gary. He is a darling!

Anonymous said...

Dearest Amy, Brandon and Gary,
Just wanted to let you know my continual thoughts and prayers are still with you all. I can't get online many sites (especially blog types) at school, so Catherine tries to keep me up to date.
I love and miss you guys.
Emily McDonald

Barb said...

It's a shame, Amy, that they tell you one thing, you base your hopes on it and then find out you have another week to wait to get answers. That must be so frustrating for you.

Hard to believe your baby's already ten months old! Before you know it you'll be planning his first birthday. That first year just flies by, doesn't it? He's such a little cutie. I'm glad you got to have a little time with him yesterday.

Still praying for you. Never stopped and never will.

Anonymous said...

Dear Amy,

Hope this day is better and that the good counts rise soon.
The discouragements and frustrations are surely understandable. Many are near you in prayer seeking the Lord's comfort and strength for you today.

My thoughts seem to come back to Ps. 121 "I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord which made Heaven and Earth."
and Mt.6:11
"Give us this day our daily bread."

May He speak peace to your heart and give you strength by His grace.

Love To You,
Don and Lilan

Alivia's Momma said...

Amy-
I have no great things to say. I'm in the same boat with you...I get the constant crying. I've been doing the same lately. I will pray for a perfect match for you as I pray for a perfect match for Alivia. I'm so thankful you have many siblings to check. We are having a bone marrow drive in October to search for someone for Alivia....and others who need transplant. I will continue to pray for you.
I pray you have some rest, peace and the biopsy is the easiest one yet!
God bless
*Emily

Anonymous said...

Amy, I've followed you almost from the start, but I'm commenting for the 1st time today. When you referenced Ps. 56:8, my mind remembered verse 9 -"When I cry unto thee, then shall my enemies turn back; this I know FOR GOD IS FOR ME!" Remember, God is for you more than any other person on this earth. He loves you more than you can comprehend. For some reason He's chosen the furnace of affliction for you. You are doing a fine job of being surrendered to that. You have a wonderful testimony! Also, my dad had a non related BMT 15 years ago. I won't tell you how many siblings he had, but bottom line, Amy -- ONLY GOD will get you through, with or without a related match. My dad is the only one of 14 who went in with him to be alive and well. It is ALL God, he shouldn't be here! I know that sounds grim, but you're used to grim reality. We have a God Who has no limit. The doctors told the nurses to tell my mom not to get the house ready, my dad would not come home. They didn't have the heart to tell her, praise God, cause he did come home and he's still here! I say all that to say that it is only God Who willed my dad to be alive. And God can do the same, no matter how hopeless the diagnosis is! I'm praying for you and watching you grow through this. Love in Christ, Jolene
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Monica C. said...

May you feel God's strong and powerful arms wrapped tightly around you. Please know that you are being prayed for. Even when you are feeling weary, others of us are praying for you. God bless you,

Teresa said...

Dear Amy,

I am praying for you this Sunday evening. I am hoping this weekend was good for you. I am asking the Lord for a good night's sleep for you and for for His Word to be like the "dew of the morning" as you awake.

Blessings,
Teresa

Rachel Davis said...

It was almost 2 months ago that Mom called and told me you were sick.

I remember because it was a communion Sunday, and Joel announced it then to the body and asked for prayer.

We had communion again tonight...which made me realize how long it's been. How long you've been fighting. It's flown by in my life, but when you're in that hospital bed I'm certain that it must seem an eternity.

God has upheld you for two months and He will not let go now. As one of our deacons reminded us this evening, you are inscribed in the palms of His hands! Nothing can take you from Him, nothing could induce Him to let you go. Those powerful hands were nailed to the cross for you, now bear your name, and tenderly hold you close. Grasp onto that hand and squeeze...He'll bring you through.

Love you.

Anonymous said...

...weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.

I am praying Psalm 30 for you.

Rachel Davis said...

whoops, 3 months.

Proves my point. :)

Anonymous said...

I am praying for you!
rach.typepad.com

Anonymous said...

Amy,

As I ponder on your endless journey of suffering;I have nothing to compare. I often think of just dropping by to prop your room door and just give you a "GRAND HOWDY!", but I don't want your immune system to fear me. I miss our "howdy do's" around the hospital door. If and when you feel like having my brief "howdy" at your door, let me know. Until than,Amy, know I pray daily for your healing.

In Christ,

Lynn Hensel
Grace Church of Columbia

Jenny said...

Amy, I'll be praying for you.

Abby Ymker said...

Ps. 16:7-9 & 11
I will bless the Lord, who hath given me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons.
I have set the Lord always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.
Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope.
Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.

You are on my mind all the time and I pray for you constantly!
With Love,
Abby
ps! I wanted to tell you, Emma sends me pictures of Gary and he is SOOOO CUTE!!! I can't wait to meet him some day!

MugwumpMom said...

Sorry to hear that you're having a rough day. Love your perspective on it though..God has your tears in a bottle..never heard that expression before and it's touching. And true. He of all people knows what you are going through.
You remain in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

Amy,

As I was thinking about you today, praying that one of the kids will be
a match and you will know soon the
results of all tests, Grandma's favorite song came to mind.
Great is thy faithfulness, O God my
father,
There is no shadow of turning with Thee.
Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not.
As Thou has been, Thou forever wilt
be.
Great is Thy faithfulness...
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed, Thy hand hath provided
Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me.
I pray that you will know afresh
God's mercies today and that you will know soon what are the next steps in His plan.
We are praying here in Bristol, Tn. Many ask how to pray and we will be lifting you up tonight as
well at our prayer time.
We love you,
Aunt Kathy, Uncle Steve and guys

Christina said...

I will pray for you, be strong. I will pray for God to send many angels your way to guard you from Satan being a pain in your (you know what). Keep fighting, you sound like a winner to me. You will beat this.

Grafted Branch said...

Tears in a bottle. I love that you are so transparent about the hard parts of this trial.

May others be blessed by your readiness to give an answer to the reason for the hope that you have!

Stay strong. Draw near, hold fast. Be healed. God's peace to you.

aaron mcnees said...

it will get better, i promise.