Sunday, September 17, 2006

The weekend in between

"Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." -- 2 Cor. 4:16-18

Our Caregroup leader in Arizona shared that verse with us before I went in for treatment, and it is heavy on my soul today. It is so hard in the midst of affliction to remember that it is momentary, and perhaps even slight, even when it feels that it is consuming every aspect of your body. This round of chemo has been hell on earth for me. The doctor released me from the hospital on Friday as planned with about a 103 degree fever and flu-like symptoms. He did give me some meds to help with side effects, and those have allowed some blessed sleep. I'm still not eating much, and haven't since I went in on Tuesday. I am dreading a return to the hospital on Tuesday for more treatment, and praying constantly that this next drug will be easier on the system. The doctor reminded me that I had toxins running through me when I was feeling so horrible. It is so hard to accept the fact that I have to have the toxins to live.

I was released with the fever because the doctor felt it was entirely chemo induced and would go away by evening. It did, and I don't have to go back until Tuesday unless the fever comes back. So far I've been o.k. in that regard. I just basically feel like I have a sinus infection, influenza, and the stomach flu all rolled into one, plus a really bad skin rash. The valley is really dark right now. Please pray for us.

32 comments:

Lisa said...

Always lifting you up, Amy!

Anonymous said...

Amy! I'm so glad to hear from you! In the middle of church this morning, I was struck with an intense need to pray for you! I don't know what you were going through around 10:30 CST, but I was all of a sudden moved to tears for you. I immediately stopped listening to the sermon (not sure if that was right or not!) and started scribbling out prayers to God, begging him to heal you and save you from this disease! I was so relieved to see your post! Amy, God has a purpose in this, though it may be impossible to see clearly right now! May God bless you with a sense of purpose and a vision of that purpose to get you through the dark days! I love you and am praying for you with my whole being!!!!

Love,
Emily

Lawauna said...

Amy,
Praying for you. You have been on my mindd alot over the last few days. I thought of you yesterday when we went food shopping as there was a place doing testing for Bone Marrow Donation. Today I asked my church to pray for you.
I am so in AWE by the strength you are showing. God Bless you and your family.

Lawauna

Holly said...

I am always praying for you. You've been constantly on my mind and I pray that you continue to find the strength to carry this immense cross. I pray for your perserverence, your family's continued support and that the doctors would continue to be guided in your treatment. I pray that the side effects from the chemo become like waves that you can easily float above. I pray that you feel carried above and through it all by the powerful and merciful arms of Christ.

May you find peace and joy and the ability to unite your suffering with Christ's own suffering on the cross.

God Bless you and your entire family.

Anonymous said...

Amy,
Thank you for the new post today. I have been suffering a lot for almost a week with rheumatoid arthritis problems that have left me temporarily hurting so much that I'm about in tears. Then I think of all you have endured, and I am ashamed for my periodic pity parties. Thank you for being so sweet and faithful and helping others who are hurting to trust in the Lord through it all. As your verse today said, this is temporary and will not be with us forever. Give my love to your family and keep telling us how things are going. I pray for you every day as do the ladies in my SS class. I wasn't able to go today because I can't get dressed. But it's good to know that you are still trusting. I pray that as you go back Tuesday, the new treatments will not be so difficult for you. God bless you.
Love, Jackie Dennison

Barb said...

I'll never stop praying for you, Amy.

Anonymous said...

Amy,

I personally know what a wonderful doctor that Dr. Anderson is. Have faith in God and in Dr. Anderson's medical knowledge he will do all he can to make you well and make you as comfortable as he can in the precess. Take care and we are praying for you. God Bless! Jen, Jason, & Harlon

Karen F. said...

Amy,
You don't know me, and I don't "know" you, but I have prayed for you from the first day I first heard of you.
Please know that many are praying for you, asking God to give you His endurance, strength and peace. That He will grant you His vision to see this His way.
Blessings to you,
Karen

Tonya in KS said...

You're in my prayers!

Anonymous said...

Amy,
Have you heard the saying by Corrie Ten Boom " There is no pit so deep that GOd is not deeper still"? That saying has been a constant reminder to me during my illness that I am not in it alone. The Psalmist wrote, "where can I go from your prescence?" He is with you in the darkest valley and He will never leave you or forsake you because He is faithful. He cannot be otherwise.
Believe me I know how hard it is to keep perspective when you are feeling so sick, but I also know that at my darkest moments is when I have felt His prescence the closest and strongest.
I am praying for you all the time.

Love,
Gina

Meam & Papa said...

Amy, you have a lot of people praying for you and keeping positive thoughts for you. Remember what we talk about on the telephone: THINK POSITIVE . . . THINK POSITIVE . . . THINK POSITIVE. "If you think it, it is." We will help you carry this burden of this evil disease. We ask that the Holy Spirit comforts you and gives you the strenth to overcome all things. Always go that extra mile! We love you up to the sky!!!!!!

Rachel Davis said...

I saw a quote the other day..."I know that God won't give me more than I can handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much."
:)

He knows you inside and out, and knows exactly what you can handle. He'll give you the strength to keep going, even when it feels like you can't take any more.

Love you, and praying always.

Heather said...

Praying for you and your family, Amy!

Imajackson said...

Amy,

I know the valley is so dark today. Sadly, the internet doesn't show you just how many of us are also "with" you everyday. I think of you and pray for you and Brandon and Gary. I know I am not the only one. You are alone at times in the hospital room, but you are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses and those of us out in the blogosphere. I know you are enduring this time and with grace I might add.

Paulette said...

Amy, I never stop praying for you, never. It is midnight my time and I come by here everynight before I go to bed. I know the hell of the chemo, I saw it in my dear friend. You remind me so much of her in your faith.
I hope you can feel us with you. I hope that every breath you take you feel us with you sweet Amy.
I love you so much in Christ.

PastorMac's Ann said...

He is with you in this dark valley.

Praying for you.

Holly said...

This morning, in these wee hours when I find myself unable to sleep, I pray. I know that in my unrest, God calls me to Him. I know not the reasons, but I trust that someone needs prayers. And this morning, as I started praying for each person in my family and extended family, my thoughts continued to turn to you. A woman I don't know, a woman I'll likely never meet. A woman I can't help but pray for. Know that today (and likely every day), you are lifted up in prayer by many who only know your beautiful smile from a picture on the internet.

I pray you have a fantastic day today, and feel renewed to face tomorrow.

God Bless you, Amy.

Anonymous said...

Dear Amy, We do thank you for the update. We continue to speak the Word on your behalf. We pray all the time. Blessings and favor on you in Jesus dear name. Joe and Marilyn

Christine Bolton said...

Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Psalm 61:2 From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

Praying for you...

Kelsie said...

Hi Amy, This is Patricks sister again (Elisabeths fiance) I just thought I would let you know that our church is praying for you in this time, as are all of my family. I hope your feeling better after your treatment.
In Him.

Teresa said...

Amy, just wanted you to know that our family is still praying for you. Your physical body is suffering and in pain but your inward man is at peace because you are trusting God. I am praying for you and your family to keep that simplicity of trust that will bring peace in the most difficult moments.

Monica C. said...

I am praying for you, and I pray that, by the grace of God, you *can do this*. You *can get through this*. You *can beat this*. By His grace! God bless,

Alivia's Momma said...

Amy thank you so much for the verse. It was a much needed one after today. We are most likely facing a transplant also and it has been hitting me hard. I am always refreshed by your strength (even though you probably feel weak). Know that you are a testimony to me in my walk through leukemia. Our valley is dark too so know we must be walking together right now.

Anonymous said...

Amy - I don't know you but I will be checking your blog and will keep you and your family in my prayers. Mary

Sabrina said...

Praying, Praying, Praying for you all.

Christy in TN said...

Heartfelt prayer going up for you, Amy.

Warmly,
Christy

Sarah Beth said...

Hi Amy...I'm a friend of Rach Davis's from Owensboro! And I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you and have been for awhile now. May God be ever so near to you and your family during this darkness on the path! I pray for good days, no fever, and amazing times with the Lord!
~Sarah Beth

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (1 Corinthians 12:9-10)

Anonymous said...

Amy, I am praying for you today as you return to the hospital. I am always praying for a miracle of healing, but today I am also praying that He would comfort your souls with the joys of heaven. Although I cannot even imagine your pain, I encourage you to think of your eternal home and living eternally in the presence of our great God.
Love,
Tiffany Hansen

Anonymous said...

Dear Amy,
i arrived to your blog thru Nora Shank's blog. I am one of her friends from Maryland. I will be praying for you and your family.

ashley

Kevin P. Larson said...

We will keep praying, Amy.

Anonymous said...

I love you Amy!
Hope you are feeling better today.
Love your sis,
Lizzie :)

Anonymous said...

Our Sweet Precious Amy,

I wish I could hand you a flashlight while you journey through the darkened valleys. Just remember during these dreary, endless, moments in time, Christ is with you. Many prayers are lifted up to lighten your burdened load.
May the peace of Christ be with you and His presence comfort you.

Love in Christ,

Lynn Hensel
Grace Church of Columbia