"Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." -- 2 Cor. 4:16-18
Our Caregroup leader in Arizona shared that verse with us before I went in for treatment, and it is heavy on my soul today. It is so hard in the midst of affliction to remember that it is momentary, and perhaps even slight, even when it feels that it is consuming every aspect of your body. This round of chemo has been hell on earth for me. The doctor released me from the hospital on Friday as planned with about a 103 degree fever and flu-like symptoms. He did give me some meds to help with side effects, and those have allowed some blessed sleep. I'm still not eating much, and haven't since I went in on Tuesday. I am dreading a return to the hospital on Tuesday for more treatment, and praying constantly that this next drug will be easier on the system. The doctor reminded me that I had toxins running through me when I was feeling so horrible. It is so hard to accept the fact that I have to have the toxins to live.
I was released with the fever because the doctor felt it was entirely chemo induced and would go away by evening. It did, and I don't have to go back until Tuesday unless the fever comes back. So far I've been o.k. in that regard. I just basically feel like I have a sinus infection, influenza, and the stomach flu all rolled into one, plus a really bad skin rash. The valley is really dark right now. Please pray for us.