Saturday, July 22, 2006


I've probably commented before about the hospital being different on weekends. Some aspects of less staff can be nice (less interruptions overall) but some can prove to be a trial. I had a rough night last night, and didn't get much sleep. I told Dr. Ogden (the floor resident) this morning that I feel like I must have been entered into some kind of sleep deprivation clinical trial without my knowledge. I went to bed at 10 p.m. -- early for me, and my blood transfusion set the alarm off on my IV machine around 11:30. Response times were slow, and by the time they showed up I had ripped the IV out of the machine and thrown the entire thing on the floor and managed to turn the machine off. They don't really like it when I do that. I have noticed it usually improves response times for the rest of the day. I have been so blessed to feel better through this round of chemo, but that has brought a new set of challenges as I have felt good enough to really want to go home. I talked to Dr. Perry this morning about my frustration with never getting more than 2-3 hours of uninterrupted sleep, and the pressure of being mentally alert 24 hours a day to ensure things like hand washing and proper care of my Hickman are observed by the occasional sloppy nurse. I am mentally exhausted, and emotionally worn out -- I don't feel safe taking Ativan and not being aware of my surroundings. I decided that I'd check my e-mail before morning rounds and found several encouraging e-mails that improved my mood and calmed my spirit. In the middle of the night I wonder if I will make it through all of this without going insane. Those are the dark hours, and I try to remember to praise Him even when my heart doesn't feel like it.

I was blessed this morning with a visit from two dear friends, which again proved to build me up. God knows so well what I need each day! Healthwise I am doing well, as I mentioned above and owe it all to God's mercies and your prayers. The infectious disease doctor commented today that I ran a slight fever during my transfusions yesterday (I received two units of blood and one unit of platelets). Oh, for those who have asked, my blood type is AB+. I was told yesterday that it's actually a rare blood type, so I often receive AB- or A+, or something like that. I don't pretend to understand all the complexities, but I know there is more to matching blood than just the type. The antibodies are constantly changing and my "blood band" or "sticker bracelet" as I've affectionately named it expires every 72 hours. I was able to go a week between transfusions which I think is a really good thing, and once again no allergic reactions, which is of particular importance since I'm not being pretreated with the standard dose of Benadryl.

Thank you once again for building me up daily with your prayers, comments, love gifts, and ways I may never even know. Heaven has become dearer to me through all of this, but even more so as I have the realization that I may never meet so many of you on earth but anticipate the day we are united with Christ. Please, please, if you do not have the certainty of security in Christ this day, don't let it pass by without seeking Him. That you may know Him and the power of His resurrection!

As always, I love you all.


Anonymous said...

Dear Amy,

I was going to email you today to ask you to post again. Since we knew the last round had been so hard, we were concerned and wanting to know how to pray. Glad this round has been easier but we won't stop praying till you're better.

Hang in there, I love your spunk!!

Love and Prayers,
Mrs. Hardin

Meam said...

Amy, I called you before I read your new posting. I did forward to everyone to especially pray for the "fever" situation. So glad this is a good day for you. God Bless You! We love you, Meam.

Paulette said...

Amy was so glad to get your post as well today. I know the sleep derprivation can be hard, and I remember those dark hours of the morning I experienced after my open heart surgery and laying there wide awake when they come in, or dont come in through the night. I will specifically pray for prayer for you because that can make it so hard. I feel so encouraged as I pray for you, because I know God is right there in all of our lonley hours. Perhaps you could have a family memeber stand guard for you in the middle of the night so you can sleep? I am praying!!
Love because of Christ!!!

Barb said...

Amy, I was led to your blog earlier in the week and have been following closely. I just mentioned in my own blog this morning that I was afraid no post from you meant you were having a rough time with this round of chemo and I asked for extra prayers for you. So this is good news. You have no idea how many people out here, people you don't even know, are praying for you. Bless you. You are an inspiration to us all.

Anonymous said...

Dear Amy,
Again it is good to hear from you by this means. We are thankful for your closeness to the Lord and your ability to express your thoughts clearly. The verses that come to mind so often lately are II Cor. 4:6-7 Light to shine out of darkness in our hearts, "...but we have this treasure in earthen vessels...". Thanks for your light. May you have a good night tonight with good care givers. May the Lord strengthen each of you. By His Grace.
Don and Lilan

Carrie said...

Just want to let you know that Mom and I are working away on your lap quilt. We are also praying for you. So glad to hear that you are continuing to trust the Lord.

Diane said...

Hi, again, Amy. So glad to hear you're having a good day so far.

I pray for a more restful night tonight, and that your caregivers will be more conscientious about infection, etc.

As my friend Barb, said, there are many, many people praying for you. I pray God's will be done in your life, and I praise Him for the inspiration your faith has already been to so many. You will probably never know in this life how many people your faith has touched and inspired.

God Bless you and your family, Amy. May tomorrow be an even better day than today. :-)

Joanna Burks said...

Dear Amy, I am praying for you every day. Your cheerfulness is wonderful, and things like ripping the IV out of the machine are adorable...To Quote Mrs. Hardin; "I Love Your Spunk!" Keep it up!

Lamentations 3:21 This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. 22 It is of the LORD’S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
23 They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

Anonymous said...

Dear Amy,

I was led to your blog from a friends. Please know that I have asked my bible study ladies to pray for you.

My Lord, My God,

I place all my trust in You, hoping for all things from Your goodness. May Your will be done, not mine. May I be patient for it. Give me peace of mind, peace of heart, and peace of soul. I offer to You my thoughts, my words, my suffering and my life. May they all be for Your greater glory, Amen.

With all our prayers for you,

shannon @ rocks in my dryer said...

Amy, I'm a complete stranger to you, though I've been following your blog closely since it was recommended by a friend. I just wanted to let you know that I'm praying for you, and that I'm inspired and challenged by your journey. THANK YOU for sharing it--God is being glorified in you at this very moment.

Donna McDonald said...

Hi Amy,
I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you and there lots of other people praying too. I was at church camp last week, and my whole cabin prayed for you. You are SUCH an amazing testimony and example to me. Keep trusting in Jesus and being a shining light.
Much love,

Caroline said...

Dearest Amy~
Oh how my heart feels for you. I know we all wich we could just surround you and pray for you in person. But even though we can't just know that you are prayed for every hour of every day. May the Lord continue to bless you and keep you.

Brenda said...

Amy, you are being used of God in ways you don't even know. May He continue to strengthen you and give you peace. I'm praying for you and praising Him that He is shining His light through you into the hearts of so many others.

Rest well, Beloved. May tomorrow be a better day.

Beck said...

Amy, you're so right about the hospital being different on weekends! When I was sick in March, I found it so jarring to suddenly lose "my" staff!
You're in my prayers. Keep strong.

Lawauna said...

Dear Amy,

You are truley an inspiration. I am so happy to hear that this round is going easier. You are in my prayers daily...

God Bless

Tammy said...

Hi...I am Tammy...Diane sent me here...I tried to comment earlier but blogger wouldn't let me...just want you to know, you are in my prayers and I am adding you to my bloglines so I can keep up with your progress...I just know you are going to make great progress many people love you and want to see you succeed and over-come all are an inspiration!!

Amanda said...

Amy, as I read your blog it is impossible for me to not cry. Tears are coming and won't stop! While I cry for your pain, I also cry because of your love for the Lord. In the midst of your pain, you are praising HIM. IN the midst of your fear, you are praising HIM. In the midst of waiting, you are praising HIM! I can't tell you how much your blog has blessed me. You give me so much hope and inspiration. This is what being a believer is all about. Despite the things that surround you, you know that He still sits on the throne.

Amy, I am praying for healing! I'm going to put your name on my refrigerator, on my computer, in my car, in my Bible. You will not leave my prayers! I know that many others will join with me and pray for total and complete HEALING!

Anonymous said...

Amy, I prayed for you everyday last week, sometimes several times a day. Thanks for the updates. You have been such a blessing to me.


Christina said...

Hi, I have just found your blog. About the hospital stay: Oh you poor thing. I had an accident many years ago and was in the hospital for over a month so I know how that goes. I send you many prayers and well wishes. Just remember when you are sitting there that you have many blog friends praying for you and just know every day you are there is a day closer to getting better. You can make it through this, you seem to have so much strength. Keep up the good blogging whenever you need a lift or are a little bored.

Anonymous said...

Hi, Amy!

Just wanted to let you know I'm praying for you...