Monday, July 10, 2006

Last Day of Chemo

Today is my last day of chemo, for this round at least. I'll be off for a week and then another bone marrow biopsy will show if I need another 5-day run of chemo. I am praying this is it, the road has been hard and I am weary. I have new understanding of "my flesh and my body consume me." (paraphrase)

The past few days have been especially hard and I am so grateful to all of you for your prayers. Your comments, emails, cards -- all serve to lift my weary soul, and encourage me at just the right moment. God is so good to go before and provide the little things I need to show me how much I am loved. While one friend was praying on Friday that the Lord would sing to me songs of peace, a visitor did just that, and I was blessed with her song. I awoke in tears Saturday morning to a nurse who asked if she could pray with me before her shift ended. I find Him in all the little things. I am thankful also for a little white pill that has eased my nausea. After five days it has come as some relief...it makes the other side effects a little easier to bear. I still don't have much of an appetite, but it is a different feeling than the nausea.

The week ahead will be hard as my white blood count continues to drop, basically eliminating my immune system. As the doctor put it, my body will become my worst enemy, as all the natural bacteria, etc, can feast. I have enjoyed a visit with my baby tonight as it may be the last for a while. My counts are at 1,200 today, and once they reach 500 everyone entering my room will need to wear scrubs and masks. Unfortunately that's not an option with Gary. I'm so grateful my doctor realizes the needs of a mother's heart, though, and has allowed me some limited contact with him.

The nights are long. I know God is in the nights, but for some reason they are slower and darker. I remember His promise, "He gives to his beloved even in their sleep." (paraphrase, again)

I love you all. Thank you so much for all the ways you are blessing us.

15 comments:

Meam said...

Amy, the sky is full of prayers for you, Brandon, and Gary. YOU ARE SO SPECIAL! You give us strength with all your courage. We love you, Papa & Meam.

Anonymous said...

You all are on our minds almost constantly and prayer for you all accompanies our quiet time as well as meals. We are thankful for the good care there and especially for the strength in our Lord Jesus. Hope this night goes well.
Love to you all.
Don and Lilan

Anonymous said...

Although I never knew you,
Although we never met;
Always remember God's promises are true,
So don't give up just yet.

Remember it's always darkest,
Right before dawn;
And clouds are just like snow -
When the sun shines, swiftly they all would go.

Rachel Davis said...

"if we are faithless, he remains faithful-- for he cannot deny himself." 2Ti 2:13

God is faithful, always. Your grace in this trial is beautiful--but even when you doubt and feel weak, He is still there. He will never turn away. He cannot.

Love you,
Rachel

Anonymous said...

I love you, And am praying for you!
Your little Sis,
Lizzie :)

Anonymous said...

Dear Amy, Brandon & Gary, I was shocked to hear of your illness but blessed by your sweet spirit and faithfulness to God in the midst of it all. I pray for you many times every day and hope that I will be able to visit you when you are better. Take care, keep trusting the Lord, and thank you for keeping us informed. I love you and God loves you too.

Walt, Mary Lea & Kathy said...

Amy,
We are praying for you. God will be there every step of the way for you & your family.

Walt, Mary Lea & Kathy Singleton

Jackie Dennison said...

Amy, I have been praying for you all day today. I wrote a comment earlier and forgot to put my name on it. I have a special friend in Columbia, and I sent your folks' e-mail to her too so she could be praying for you. You are on the WGBC prayer chain, my Sunday School class prayer chain, and my church's prayer network which has hundreds of people praying. I am praying with you that you will not need anymore chemo. I saw your pictures on here, and I think your son is precious. And he has a precious mommy and daddy. God bless you all. I love you. Jackie

Rachel Davis said...

We prayed for you this evening at my board meeting. It was a blessing to me, to hear people whom you've never met praying so earnestly for you, many of them crying as they pleaded with God on your behalf.

You have so many people praying for you...from Arizona, to Kentucky... Georgia to Missouri. And probably Tinbucktu (can't spell it, sorry.)

You're surrounded in prayer...and I hope that God surrounds you in peace.

Anonymous said...

Amy, On the second Tuesday evening of the month our church holds a prayer meeting. Please know that I told those gathered about your illness and that your name and your family were offered in prayers for your healing. It seems strange and somewhat disconcerting to tell others about my own neice who is suffering from a cancer that wrecks the body. I don't know about others who write to you and the churches they attend, but our's seems to be plagued with people who suffer from some sort of cancer. We pray for them often and trust that God will heal them. I hold fast to knowing that many have emerged from this shadowy valley to live a long and healthy life on this side of eternity. And, I trust that God will allow us to include your name among those who have been cured. Keep up the faith and know that there are people in Arizona who are praying for you. Wish we could be there to help.

"Why are you so downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will praise him, my Savior and my God." Psalm 42:5
Aunt Karen and Uncle Cliff

Anonymous said...

Amy you are in my prayers! I am asking that your tests will come back clear and you won't have to go through any more chemo! God is for you, Amy and if He is for you, who (or what) can be against you!

I love you,
Emily Baker

Elizabeth said...

Dear Amy, Brandon and Gary,
We just want to let you know we are praying for you and we love you! It's wonderful to see how the Lord has been encouraging you along this difficult journey. Praise the Lord for his faithfulness! Our prayer is that the Lord will continue to give you encouragement through this time! We are praying for your healing Amy!
God Bless you!
Love and prayers,
Kyle and Elizabeth

If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me. Psalm 139:9-10

Ann Hausam said...

Hey, this is Ann from Grace Church, the girl who leads worship with Luke. Anyway, you and Brandon and Gary are on my heart. I am praying for you guys along with everyone else at Grace Church. Thank you for sharing your encouragement in the Lord. He is your strength, and your heart for the Lord is so beautiful. I wanted you to know that :) Grace and peace.

iamchanelle said...

hi amy -
we all prayed in FAITH for your healing, REST for you and Brandon, and GRACE for the duration last night at caregroup. we love you guys and continue to lift you up before the Lord!
clint and chanelle richardson

Anonymous said...

Amy,
I am amazed at your great attitude throughout all you're going through. I've been praying for you and your family and will keep praying that God will carry you.
Paula Marti