Monday, March 17, 2008

6 Months... it's really been 6 months...

Well, Its now been more than six months since Amy passed away. There is still so much uncertainty about what the future holds and where Gary & I go from here. Not that we aren't perfectly confident that God already has it all figured out, we just don't know what God has in store for us yet. Life is still uniquely bizarre. You don't realize how much a part of your life someone is until they are gone.

The book is still a work in progress. Some aspects of it have been very difficult emotionally and there have been many joyful moments and many tearful moments reliving the memories. Seventeen chapters are essentially done and another dozen are close. Amy left so much to include that keeping the finished product under a thousand pages is actually a challenge.

I was blessed this weekend to discover the following song written shortly after Amy went to be with the Lord and thought I'd share with those still stopping by. (Note that the title is a link to the audio.)

Where You Are

I knew you just in passing, which means I knew your name
And anything you cared to write for strangers on the way
We often prayed for you as you were going through
The battle for your life that ended today.

So many now are grieving and yet there is a joy
To know that you are comforted and safely home tonight
Though the pain that we all carry is a burden of these days
We give it to the Lord and find its meaning in His ways

Chorus: For where you are, there are no more tears
No more dying, no more fear
Sickness healed and pain has gone away
And you have seen the Healer welcome you today

Caught between desires: the life He gave to you
The ones you love and who love you and dreams that could come true
And worshipping Lord Jesus in Heaven evermore
It put you in the middle of a holy tug-o-war

We dug in and we pulled hard to try and keep you here
Heaven would still be there if you had stayed around for years
But time is God’s creation, He’s the one that moves the hands
And if He says your time is now well then I guess I understand.

Chorus 2: But where you are, there is no more time,
No more pressure, no deadlines
Where you are, we’ll see you once again
And the clock will not be running, we’ll have eternity to spend

In life there are anomalies, things that should not be
We struggle to explain them, find some rationality
Pieces of the puzzle that will someday find their place
And that’s the dance we do as we continue on this race

The reality you showed us is a legacy you give
To never waste a moment, to learn to really live
We all should stop and ponder and just appreciate
And never take for granted the next breath that we take

Chorus 3: Where you are is where we hope to be
When our time is over, when we will get to see
Our Creator and those who’ve gone before
We will walk the streets of Heaven and live there evermore.

Sickness healed and pain has gone away
And you have seen the Healer welcome you today

w/m copyright 2007 James A. Karpowitz, all rights reserved, used by permission.


Anonymous said...

I was thinking about you guys just the other day! Seriously!! I was wondering about the book and if you'd ever update the blog again. I'm so glad you did! It sounds like you've gotten a ton of work done on the book. Thank you for sharing the song. The words are very touching. The Lord bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you and give you and Gary peace.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for posting again Brandon. I was wondering how you and Gary are doing and have been continuing to pray for you. I understand you've both had the flu. I hope you're feeling much better now. And thank you for continuing to work on Amy's book. I am anxious to read it when it's finished. I pray that God will continue to give you peace and comfort. Hold onto His promises.
Jackie Dennison

Michele said...

I've continued to pray and wonder about you as well. Blessings to you and Gary. Take care.

Anonymous said...

Brandon and Gary Lee;

Still stopping by. Still remember you in prayer daily and enjoy seeing you when possible.

"Keep on keeping on." May the Lord be your Strength and Guide.

By His Grace,
Don and Lilan

mel said...

I check this blog every day... You are such a blessing to me, and I pray for you daily.

I know the feeling all to well of knowing that God is in control, and yet you wonder what will happen. It is trying, to say the least.

What a beautiful song!!

You will continue to be in my prayers...

Anonymous said...

I'm still praying for you and little Gary. God is so good to us when we need him the most. I lost my father to suicide last July. It's been and still is a very hard road to travel. God has blessed me through it all. Lean on Him.

Pamela said...

I'm so glad I left you on my bloglines. But it was a moment of catching breath when I saw the post light up.

So glad to see you.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I love the song. Thanks for not forgetting about us here in blogland.
We still pray for you and Amy and everyone she loves.

Happi said...

I am so glad you posted, Brandon. We continue to pray for you and know that the Lord will keep you in the palm of His hand through all of this. May you have peace that truly surpasses all understanding. I can't wait to read the book.

Anonymous said...

Yes, we're still checking. Hope that's an encouragement to you that we haven't forgotten. Praying you're well.

Christina. B said...

Thanks so much for the update! You are continually in my prayers.(and in my bloglines)

Anonymous said...

We are still here praying for you and Gary. We know the Lord has you in the palm of His hand. We pray for His direction in your lives.

Kent & Susan Egger

Leigh said...

I've had a chance to share you and Amy's story with some of my friends, believers and non-believers, and everyone is so affected. I just praise the Lord for all He has and will do through your lives. I imagine that Amy is having quite an Easter with her Savior, and I look forward to celebrating our freedom in Christ with you all. Thank you for the update and the song!

God Bless!
Leigh and Dallas

nancygrayce said...

I check the blog regularly and am so glad for the update and the song! May God supply the way each day!

Carrie said...

Thank you for posting. Amy is so special to me, even though we never met. I prayed for you just now.

Sheila said...

Yes we are here, and we are praying daily for you and your sweet little Gary! Please update as often as you can, we all check here often! It is comforting to know you and Gary are in God's care and Amy is smiling down on her family this Easter! So glad the book is coming along well! Can't wait to read it...God bless you both

Linds said...

I am still stopping by to check on you guys too. And still praying for you both. Just think, Amy is celebrating in Heaven this Easter day....

6 months is just days, so be gentle with yourself.

Rachel D said...

Thanks for updating us, Brandon. Still praying for you, Gary and the Martins.

Anonymous said...

Haven't forgotten, remembering to pray for Brandon and Gary today. Many things that I do with Jeremiah(23months) I stop and stare at him, reminded that Gary suffers. Truely, the best I can offer is my prayers to a loving, huge God. With my tears and many prayers.
April Martin

Pam said...

Such a beautiful song. It sounds like Amy wrote it herself.

Rochelle said...

Thank you for keeping us updated. Your story has been very touching to me.

Dawn said...

I am so glad I stopped by today to see if you have had time to update. Thank you so much. We all think of you often. I am so glad to hear that the book is on its way. I will definitely want to read it.

The Lord bless you as you go through this journey with your precious little boy!

Rachel said...

Thanks for the blog, Brandon, and sharing the song-wow, great lyrics. We think about you a lot and keep you in our prayers. Remembering Amy...

Michelle-ozark crafter said...

May God be with you and continue to hold you in His loving embrace.

erin said...

Thank you for posting an update, Brandon. You and Gary are still in my thoughts and prayers as you travel this most difficult journey. I am looking forward to the book.

In Christian Love,

Erin in Ohio

Sis. Julie said...

Its good to see an update from you on how you and Gary are doing. I still think of y'all and Sis. Amy and come by here to see if you have updated. I'm so glad you did. Thank you for taking time out of your no doubt busy schedule and touching base with us.

April said...

I've returned weekly, my heart still aching a little each time I come back. I always return to the photos of her. I still weep for you and Gary. I still weep for Amy, though she is so much better off than any of us are now!

Thank you for keeping us updated. Thank you for carrying on her story of tremendous courage and faith.

Be blessed by the God of all creation, the keeper of Amy's soul, the lover of our hearts.

Kim said...


It was so good to hear from you...I have checked in often hoping to hear how you and baby Gary are doing. You both are in our prayers...I have Amy's memorial service announcement hung up in my kitchen(Amy's mom sent it) and look at it a way to remember her sweet spirit and to pray for you and the rest of Amy's family. I consider it a privilege to do that.

The road must be very difficult... missing her does not go away...but I pray the wonderful days you had together will be a sweet memory in your life. God is strengthening you through this.

I look so forward to reading the book one day.


Anonymous said...

Brandon, I'm so glad you posted. I still check this blog every couple of weeks and I think about you and Gary all the time and pray for you. Eric and I love you both. Thank you so much for the update. Please do it again soon!

Emily Baker

Wendy said...

So glad you are updating here. I am looking forward to the book as well. I think of Amy often and have kept your families in my prayers.

Lawauna said...

I have been without internet access for awhile and finally just got it... I am so sorry to hear of Amy's passing.... Please know that you and your family are in my prayers...

Anonymous said...

I am glad to see you have posted again. You and Gary have been in my thoughts and prayers all of these months. I will continue to pray for fact, my family prays for you and Gary daily!
I have often thought of Amy and another dear friend who passed away the same week as Amy. I wonder if they have met in heaven and what they are doing. I am sure heaven is beyond all they could have hoped and dreamed for. It is such a comfort and joy to know that as Christians, we will see our loved ones again. They are just a moment away!
Many blessings to you this day!
~Gina Dunn

Abby said...

I think of you both often.
Thanks for posting the song.

Jessi said...

Thanks for the post. Amy's suffering was in my thoughts a lot this spring. I am in nursing school and I had a 6 week clinical rotation on the oncology floor of our hospital. I felt like it was my mission to serve every patient like I would have wanted Amy to be treated. As healthcare workers it is sometimes easy to just focus on the patient's physical problems, but forget that there are also deep emotional and spiritual needs. Through her writings Amy helped me learn that ministering to the emotions and spirit of my patients is of utmost importance. It's a lesson I hope I never forget throughout my nursing career.


Cami said...

I can only imagine how much you miss her smiling face.

Sis. Julie said...

I just wanted you to know that you and Gary are still in my thoughts and prayers. I stop by here occasionally to see if you have updated any. May God continue to bless you and give you direction for what the future holds.

Elisabeth said...

I don't even know what to say....missing Amy every day. Happy Birthday Amy!