Wednesday, February 21, 2007

The Results

Heaven got a lot closer today. We received the preliminary results from Friday's biopsy. The cancer has returned at 14% currently. We won't have detailed information until the cytogenetics are back from California (about 1 1/2 weeks), but it looks like the same one as before. We have an appointment on Friday to discuss options with the doctor. At this point they are few, and not very hopeful. I am not a candidate for high-dose chemo, which would be a normal procedure at this point, because I've already had every chemo drug, and have most likely built up a resistance. (Plus, I'm at a lifetime limit for some of them.) A second stem cell transplant only holds about a 5% success rate. They mentioned using chemo treatments to prolong life, but I think any hope of a "cure" would rest in experimental clinical trials, which aren't covered by insurance and thus really aren't an option in my mind. We have a lot of decisions to make over the weekend -- the kind couples in their 70s make. It all seems very unreal at the moment. It's hard to be hit with your own mortality. A part of me wanted so badly to believe that I had beat the odds, even though I've been a wreck this past week, knowing somehow that the news wouldn't be good. I think that is a sign of God's grace for me -- I needed to know deep down, because it is just too much to bear all at once.

We are heartbroken. This is not the news we wanted to hear. We wanted to raise our son, to grow old together, but God has different plans for our family. And as much as we don't understand them right now, we know that He is sovereign over this as well. Please pray for us, and for my family especially. My part in all of this is rather easy. I get to die and be with my Savior in glory. I get to miss out on all the suffering this world holds. It is my family who bear the grief and the pain day in and day out. It is for them that my heart breaks.

Hold your loved ones a little closer for me today. Live life a little more -- wear your dressy clothes around the house just because life is really short and stains don't really matter. Don't get impatient about the little things.

Someday we'll understand why.


Anonymous said...

Oh, Amy. I am so sorry. I can't imagine. We have never ceased praying for you, but I will petition the Father all the more. May God guide you.



Leigh said...

My heart breaks for you and your family. I still believe that God is ready and able to heal you, and I will continue to pray for that. Words cannot express how much reading your blog has affected my life. You have shown me such a clear picture of our Savior. You helped bring me out of a pit that Satan had convinced me to stay in. You reminded me that God is still able to heal my wounds. Praise God for His work through you! Even today I was complaining about a need and God still met it through all my grumbling. Forgive me Lord for my grumbling and remind me that you are Sovereign everytime I think and pray for Amy and her family!

God Bless you!

Anonymous said...

Amy, my heart is broken and I am discouraged, but I won't stop praying for you. I won't stop believing in God's power to heal. I love you with all my heart.

Emily B.

Kim said...


I am in tears now as I finished reading your post...I am so sorry! But,I do know that God is the Great Physician and He can heal you if it is His will. We do not understand God's ways or how He uses things like this for His glory,but I do know you are loved by Him. I have grown to love you as well. Thank you for sharing your precious life with us.

I will keep praying! I will not stop! I will pray for your husband and your sweet baby...please know I am praying. Our family will be praying for you in our family worship time each night!

We do know this is no lapse in God's goodness,but it hurts just the same.

In Christ's Hope,


Catherine said...

I love you, precious friend.

Anonymous said...

Amy, There are just no words to express how we feel tonight. We are so very sorry for the results of your biopsy. We felt so sure that you were healed. However, I know that sometimes healing is not for us to stay in this world. It is not what we want, and we do not understand WHY, but God only knows. We are not giving up hope and will continue to pray for you as we have been. We love you so much and pray God's contentment in your heat and mind, no matter what His answer is. God bless you, Brandon and Gary every minute of every day. Much love, Grandpa Ed and Grandma Linda

Cyndi said...

Dear Amy,

I am here from Lifesong and just wanted you to know I am praying. Your post is worded so beautifully, I can tell you are yielded to the Holy Spirit and are in the palm of God's hand. You, my precious sister, are in my prayers at this very moment and in the days and weeks to come. Thank you for this post.

Barb said...

Amy, you and Brandon and little Gary have been in prayers all through this journey. I'm so, so sorry. But please remember He works miracles every single day. Do not give up hope, sweet girl.

gracie said...

So sad for you and your family, Amy.
I only wrote this yesterday but it seems appropriate right now...

I hear the lion roaring
My face is in his mane
Limbs are hanging useless
And eyes are filled with pain
The tears have flowed
And stained his coat
My fists have beat his chest
And though he has not drawn a claw
I hear the lion roar

Aslan has not yet 'drawn a claw' to avenge the suffering of his loved ones, but I'm sure that he roars with our pain...

Paulette said...

I have not stopped praying since your first post on your journey. I am so saddened by the results here today, but I will never give up praying for you. I have put a ribbon on laptop screen and I will pray for you always.
All my trials are so insignificant this day and always.
Amy you are such a testament of Gods love and grace. I am still praying!

PEA said...

Dear Amy, I am here via Barb's blog...I wanted to add my prayers with the others. My heart truly goes out to you and your family. xox

Susie said...

I'm here from Barb's. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

MotoMom said...

I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Deidre said...

I'm here from 'Lifesong' and just wanted you to know I'm am praying for you and your family.

Andrea said...

I've been praying all along your journey and I will continue to do so now. My heart is breaking for the discussions your family will have to have now. God is still sovereign and is still in control. I pray He guides you and your family.

You have been such an inspiration to me. Don't give up now. There are miracles every day! Even if the miracle this time doesn't include your survival, know that you have at least touched one life - mine. God bless you.

Kili @ Live Each Moment said...

I don't know what to say except my husband and I will keep you and your family in our prayers.

Kim said...

Amy, I just want you to know that you, Brandon, and Gary are in my prayers.
In His everlasting love,

Emily said...

I just want to tell you that I'm praying for you and your family. I love reading about your journey with our Lord and Savior. You are an amazing lady. Eventually I look forward to our heavenly meeting.

God Bless,

Kelli said...

NO words. Only prayer. We love you. We will continue to love you and your family.

Holly said...

I have no idea what to say, Amy. I have spent much time praying for you and for your family since July. I have rejoiced at every mention of positive results. I have even cried for you. With this new news, I just don't know what to say. I am definitely sorry to read that your fight has only bought you brief time. I pray for you to have peace, for your family to be filled with comfort in the knowledge that your suffering will not last.

Most of all, I pray you all continue this journey with the grace that has inspired me all these months. That you would draw ever nearer to God as you travel this unbelievable road.

God Bless you. God Bless your family.

May your travels be wrapped in love and joy.

Christy said...

Oh, Amy.

Blessed Beyond Measure said...

I'm here to tell you I'm praying for your sweet family, for a sense of his presence, for comfort, strength, joy in the little things, and still for healing. xoxoxo

Anonymous said...

Dear Amy, Brandon, and Family All,

Thank you for sharing your feelings, hopes, and apprehensions too. What a wave of emotion comes over us even when we know the Lord is in control of all things. May He give you all peace in the days ahead and may you know we continue in prayer for each and all of you daily.

Know the information today was not what we had hoped for. Maybe more information Friday will help to understand the whole picture better. Only Our Lord knows the whole picture for any of our lives.

May the Lord comfort and strengthen you all tonight, tomorrow, and beyond. May He give you peace and wisdom.

We Love You,
Don and Lilan

Anonymous said...

"I get to die..." Wow. Such grace!
Theologically speaking, it is right to be happy that you will go to be with Jesus sooner rather than later. Humanly speaking, I am very sad. Hundreds of us bloggers have prayed for a miracle for you. And we've seen you praise God in everything. Your testimony has been a real inspiration to me.

I pray that God will give you wisdom regarding the decisions you have to make. I pray that whatever the outcome, God will give you and your family abundant grace to praise Him til the very end! That your faith will not waver. That you will go forth in strength with the knowledge that there is no sting in death, that Christ has conquered death. Your body will go down, but not forever. You will be raised!! This is not the end for you, Sister. Far from it!! And I pray that you will receive an abundant welcome into the Kingdom!! Praying and cheering for you, Amy!! Soli Deo Gloria

Anonymous said...

Oh my....I will be praying. I "found you" some time ago and have been praying. I will step it up in light of this development.

I didn't realize you were here in MO. I am in STL - let me know if there is ever anything I can do for you when you are in town.

Lisa said...

Amy -

I don't have the words and so I reach up to our Lord and lift you in prayer. As you know, my husband has Leukemia and I am in this battle as the spouse. My heart breaks with the ups and downs this horrible disease brings. I HATE leukemia.. but, I like you, I LOVE the Lord, and I know that His heart breaks with ours in these times. Amy, don't give up on this life.. or on the next. Ask the Lord to guide your thinking and be open to the ideas that are presented to you. With your hand in His, your mind guided by His, you will make the right decisions. I am here for you at anytime.

Judith said...

I am praying Jesus is with you and all your family, every step and every heartbeat of the way.

Rocks In My Dryer said...

I'm so very, very sorry, and I'm lifting your whole family up in prayer.

Anno said...

I just found your blog today and we will be praying for you as a family.
There are no words to express what I am feeling, only tears in my eyes.

Larae said...

I'm here from Rocks In My Dryer & Barb's..I am so sorry to hear this news! I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Overwhelmed! said...

Amy, I don't know what to say. My heart aches for you and your family! You've waged such a courageous battle against this cancer!

I am keeping you, Brandon, Gary, and all of your loved ones in my prayers.

May God offer you peace and strength.

You are loved by many who have never even met you. I hope you know that!

Emily said...

Shannon at Rocks in my dryer sent her readers over here to read your story and pray, so tonight is the first time I've known about your family.

I weep for your family, Amy. Not for you, because it sounds like you are ready to meet Jesus if that is truly what he has planned for you now. But I am so very sad, with you, for the loved ones that you will leave behind.

I am praying that God will turn your cancer around and heal you, and that if he doesn't, that he'll give you and your family the strength to enjoy each day and then to say goodbye.

Dawn said...

I am in tears. YOu have been so strong and have such awesome faith. You are right, though. You are the winner. Those left behind will suffer until they can join you in heaven. Blessings on all of you!

owlhaven said...

Praying, Amy...


Big Mama said...

Amy, this is the first time I've been here, but just wanted to say that you and your family will be in my prayers. May God grant you peace during this time.

Sarah's In the Midst of It said...

I am so sorry, Amy. I've followed your blog since you got out of the hospital and was hoping that these results would bring good news. My husband's dad has leukemia, and so when I pray for him, I remember to pray for you, too.

I'm praying for peace for you and your family.

Mishel said...

I am praying for you Amy...and for Brandon and Gary too.

emily said...

Hi Amy- my name is Emily, I'm 18 and I found your site through Rocks in My Dryer.
I'm praying for you... I am so sorry for what you've heard... and so inspired by your humble faith, trust, and love.

You are in my and so many others prayers!

Emily G.,

Tammy said...

Amy, I'm here from Barb's also. I don't know you but my tears are flowing as I type.
Just reading this one post flowing with such grace is amazing. Yet, I do believe that God can do outright miracles.
So I am praying in earnest for you this week, Amy. Praying for your peace as well as for healing. Praying for your family.
Whatever happens, God will never leave you, nor forsake you...or your family!

Michelle said...

I am too praying for a miracle.May God guide you & bless you.I'm so sorry to hear the news.

Linds said...

Iam here from Barb too, and I am praying for you and your family as well. Your faith is a true inspiration, Amy.

Heather said...

(((Amy)))I have been following your journey a while now....I am in tears as I read of your results. I have so prayed for healing and will continue to do so. Many of us have never met you, but we have grown to love you and your family. We WILL meet one day we know! In His Love, Heather
Holding on for a miracle!

Misslionheart said...

I haven't prayed for *years* but I'm praying for you and your family now...

Hugs from Ireland

Robyn said...

Hi Amy, you don't know me - I followed the link from Shannon's blog - but I just wanted you to know that I'm praying for you and your family tonight. I hope its ok if I keep checking in on you. Our God IS an awesome God.

Diane J. said...

Amy, I've been reading your blog and praying for you and your family from the very beginning of your fight with leukemia. My heart breaks for you and your family, but only God knows what is ahead.

Still praying,

Diane J.

JenMom said...

More prayers from Georgia. God will sustain You, He will sustain your sweet family. It is so hard to understand these things this side of heaven. Hang in there and do not give up--there is no telling what God might do.

~~ Lily ~~ said...

Amy, this is my first visit to your blog, rocks in the dryer sent a bunch of us over. I am praying for you and your family. I am sitting here in tears.

Terri @ In His Hands said...

I'm here from Kim's blog. I'm praying for you and your family. Lifting you up, praying for peace, strength, healing.

God bless you!

Anonymous said...

I'm holding them closer today. I'm putting on some nice clothes and I'm so very thankful for your words, you are Inspirational even in your most difficult time.

You are truly a gift from God, thank you for your perspective, it makes me realize how we are all just a moment away...

Praying for you,


Adventures In Babywearing said...

I am praying. I don't know you but I feel you in my heart. I have seen a real-life miracle in the healing of my son, so I believe a miracle is possible for you, as anything is possible with God. May only His will be done and that be a comfort in you. I pray that whatever happens you and your precious family always have His Peace in your heart.


Laurel Wreath said...

May I have just one tenth of your grace, Amy you are such a strong witness to many people. More people than you even know. My heart is heavy, and it is hard to write. May God give you peace and joy beyond your comprehension.

Peach said...

Amy, I found you via Shannon at Rocks in My Dryer. I am adding you to my prayer list. Thanks so much for your perspective and your willingness to be an open vessel for the Lord's work. He is using you to minister to so many.

I so wished I lived closer and could help with those mundane things that take your time away from what is special.

Tonja said...

May God give you strength, grace, wisdom, and peace. This is my prayer.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry to hear this news. I have been following your blog for months and had hoped you had beat this terrible disease. As you said, you get the easy part but in reality it really isn't that easy, I'm sure. I will pray for you all.

Anonymous said...

I have been following your story since the beginning. I'm not sure exactly how I found you, but I did and have kept you in my prayers. To say that my heart is breaking for you would be an understatement. I am so sorry for your news and will still pray for God's healing hands on you. I have been in awe of your strength and devotion to Our Father during this difficult time. You are truly inspirational.

God Bless,
Kelli S. from Michigan

Tammy C said...

Sorry to hear the news.I had not read your blog since the new year started.I figured everything was going so good for you.

In a way it is good news-just God's news .

My God be with you and your family at this time.

Cheryl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cheryl said...

Boomama said to come pray...
What a burden you must be carrying right now. I have a friend in late stage lymphoma. Right now she is at home fighting for a few more days with her children. She is only in her 40s and has 2 children in their 20s and 13 year old twins. I am sad as I think about her leaving us but her story is an inspiration. 18 years ago she was first diagnosed and given 2 years max to live. She decided not to do chemo and at church one day a man asked her to come to the front and said God was going to heal her. She was pronounced clear and went on to have twins. She has had 18 years that the doctors assured her were not hers. She has seen her oldest daughter married and her twins become teenagers. She has struggled but taught me to not give up until my dying breath. She has been a witness to doctors and nurses who carry the weight of this disease on them. She often meets people in the cancer wards at the hospital and shares her story and her faith. She encourages them to embrace the struggles and has lived everyday as if it was her last... for years now. If she could, I know she would pray for you and share her story herself... I pass it on in her honour.

Blessings and strength today...

Anonymous said...

Dearest Amy....We are praying for you and your precious family. Underneath are the Everlasting Arms. We love you. The Burks

Lacey said...


I have been following your blog for some time now. I am sad to hear you news. For you and for your family. I will continue to pray.

My heart really understands. My only sister passed away February 1, 2007. She was just 21 years old. Unexpected. And I was not ready to let go. To be honest, I still don't want to let go & have so many questions. I am finding, through my heartache, that God's grace is sufficent. He is will carry you. And your family. He promised He would.

With much love & prayers,
Lacey - AL

Anonymous said...

Amy, I am so sorry to hear this news. I have been praying for you since July. Your amazing faith has been an inspiration to me and has also shown me a clear picture of the Savior. This has not all been for nothing, you have been used by God in more ways than we can imagine. Thank you for that. I am praying for all of you, praying for a miracle.

Wendy in IA

Faith said...

Our hearts are broken for you, Amy, but we will not cease to pray for God's grace and complete healing.

Romans 8:26 - In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.

May you feel the comfort of the Lord at this time, you and your family.

Love always,
Matt & Faith

Rachel D said...

All I can say, Amy, is that I love you so very much.

Rebekah said...

I'm here from "Lifesong." Dear, sister in Christ, I am praying for you and your family. May the peace of our Lord Jesus Christ surround you, and please find comfort in knowing there are members of your Christian family who have not even met you that are lifting you before His throne today, for when one member of the body is hurting, we all hurt.

May God grant you His peace and strength and comfort and faith today!

In Christ,

Randi said...

Prayers for you,sweet one...

Anonymous said...


I pray the words of this song would be a comfort to you all at this time. God remains faithful - even though we do not always understand His ways. Thank you for using your life to give us all such a true picture of who God really is. And never more than in your response to this less than desirable news.

Praying for a miracle,


Artist Lyrics: Matt Redman
Song Lyrics: Blessed Be Your Name

Blessed be Your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blesed be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing you pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord Blessed be your name

Our 4 Munchkins...6 pigtales & a buzzcut! said...

I to am praying for you..we don't understand the meaning of life sometimes. I was in tears after reading your blog but now realize we all need to be stronger for each other, and pray. May God Bless you, and heal you.


Justice Fergie said...

Rocks in My Dryer led me here to pray for you.

I am so sorry for all that you and your family are going through and will pray that by some miracle you will be able to grow old with your husband and your son.

Thank you for the reminder to appreciate the little things today. God bless you.

Panda-Mom said...

Amy, I found you through Lifesong. I don't know you, but as a sister in Christ know that our family will pray for all of God's grace to be on your family. I don't have words to help, but I CAN interceed on your behalf to our Father who knows you so intimately. May the God of heaven and earth bless you and your family.

marva mcrae said...

What an amazing spirit you have. You are very couragous. Truly incredible. Still praying for you in Alabama. Phil. 4:13 is so powerful! "I can do all things throough him which strengthens me." AND you can!

Anonymous said...

Love you Amy.

eurogirl75 said...

Amy & Family,

I will continue to pray.

Amy in AZ

eurogirl75 said...

Amy & Family,

Continued prayers!!

Amy in AZ

Jennifer said...

The strength and courage you display are truly awe inspiring. You have brought goosebumps to my arms, tears to my eyes and a sting to my heart. I will pray for you Amy.

DJ said...

I just found your blog via Owlhaven. My heart breaks for you and your family this day. Thank you for your words. They will inspire all of us to hold our families a little closer tonight. I will continue to follow your story, and will pray for God's loving hand upon you and your family.

Anonymous said...

His grace is sufficent.

Jane said...

Just to let you know I am praying for you and your family.

Rachel said...

Amy, I just stumbled across your blog. I'm a young mother and daily feel overwhelmed. As I read your story and words of peace I really felt encouraged. God has definitely given you a special grace. Thank you for sharing your heart. My prayers are with you. I pray that God's grace and mercy will be with you.

Anonymous said...

Oh Amy!

What a testimony you are to me! What hope you have in Christ.

I will pray for you and your family.

Come Lord Jesus Come!

Chris from Canada

Barbie said...

I am sooo sorry Amy! But praising God at the same time that you can trust Him in the midst of all of this. May you and your family feel peace that surpasses understanding. You will be close in my prayers!

James said...

I do not know you, but I know some of your friends who directed me to your website. My wife, Becca, and I will be praying for you and the rest of your family.

God Bless

Anonymous said...

I love you so much Amy!

Abby Ymker said...

I am so, so sorry. I don't know what to say. I've felt so numb since I heard the news last night. I've been praying for you earnestly since this started and I'll keep praying for you and your family all the more now.

Psalm 30:24
Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord.


Abby Ymker

Terra: said...

The Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you;
the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.
So shall they put my name upon the people of Israel, and I will bless them.
My heart breaks with you.

Wendy said...

I just found your blog through a link. Even though I don't know you, my heart breaks for you and your family. It doesn't seem fair and yet we don't know the heart of God. Your words are inspirational and your courage is phenomenal. I hope that you find all of the peace, comfort and understanding to guide you a long the rest of your days, whether they be only a few or they be many.

Mississippi Girl said...

Still praying...

groovyoldlady said...

Hi Amy...I'm joining the ranks in lifting you and your family before His throne.

Kathleen Marie said...

You are so in my prayers. I just hate cancer but I do believe there is still so much hope for you. I pray there is a Healing Room in your area for you to visit.

I have added you to all my prayers lists. May God Bless Your Sweet Heart!

~Rebekah~ said...

you are in my prayers always. I pray that God would give you and your family strength and that you would feel His power. I pray that if there's a miracle that God would speak VICTORY over your circumstances and if not, that you would be comforted by the hands of Jesus and know that your family will be cared for by His mighty power, strength and protection. I pray that God would fill your husband, son and family as well as friends hearts with the power of His mighty strength, that He would pick you all up when you are weak and weary and carry you all through the "Valley".

You have left a legacy in many hearts as you leave one right now. Take heart that there is still Hope in Jesus Christ and that where He is, there is not only HOPE, but a FUTURE.

I pray for the decisions that you and your husband are left to make, but I also pray that they won't be needed for many a years. May God guide you and bless you, and may you all know you are loved.


Kim Kelly said...

Dear Amy,

I am here through the Moeller family blog. Please know that I am praying for you and your precious family.

~Kim Kelly (near Houston, TX)

Candy said...

Hi there,
I dont know you and this is my first time to your blog. I dont even know how I got here actually.
I just read your post and my heart is broke for you.
I want you to know I will pray for you and I mean that, I will.
We have a great God, He is the Great Physician and nothing, not one thing is too big for Him.
Keep having Faith, keep believing.
My Dad was healed from Leukemia when he was young boy. And I was healed from rheumatoid arthritis.
God can do anything, ANYTHING. Keep leaning on Him. Im praying for a miracle and complete and total health for you. Whatever is His will, you will be ok no matter what.Hugs to you.

Anonymous said...

Dear, sweet Amy,
I am like so many others whose comments I have read here. My heart breaks for you and your family. I know that our God is a God of miracles and can still heal you if that is His will for you. You have touched countless lives with your faith while you have gone through so much suffering. These are not the results you or anyone else were hoping for. But God is faithful, and He never makes a mistake. He loves you so much. And even though we don't understand any of this, He has you in his loving hands and will not leave you or forsake you. You are a blessing and a hope to many who have been praying for you for the last 8 months. May He give you and your family peace and comfort in this time of difficulty. Two of my dearest friends here have said we do not ask God why but rather what He wants to teach us in whatever situation we find ourselves. I watched you grow up and I know you will keep trusting Him, Amy, and know that I love you and will continue to pray for you every day.

With love and prayers,
Jackie Dennison

Earline said...


We are so sorry to hear the latest results. But we will keep praying. Because God is God, He can do anything! Thank you for sharing your heart with us in your blog. You will never know how God has used you in lives that you might have never touched any other way.

Earline Howson

on the Rock said...

May you be filled with God's power and love in all times...
Bless You, Betty

Anonymous said...

I'm in tears after reading that. My heart's broken. We will continue to hold you up in our prayers.

-Katie and Matt

Keziah said...

Don't know the words to say, just wanted you to know that I visited here and am praying for you.

angeleyes Blue said...

Amy--You say something about 14%. Change your thinking...If this is true...You are 86% healthy and strong and perfect (well you are perfect the way you are but you get the picture.)

Darlin' stay strong, healthy and STAY FIERCE! YOU HAVE MANY YEARS TO COME. You will see your family through those college years.

Stay FIERCE. I know that you can do it. Keep a picture in your minds eye of a healthy strong perfect body. Get as many pictures of that as you can. Go to the library and xerox them if you need. Where can I send you a dime for those copies? made you laugh. Post pictures of you when you were younger and should I say it disease free?

Post them around your house...on the microwave...the bathroom the car by the radio...keep telling your self 86% but picture 100%.

This coming from a lady with two teens by the way who has been told that about 10% of her brain has been eaten away. I focus on the 90%. I picture a healthy brain. I tell myself often 'I know in my heart of hearts way deep down in my soul that my body, heart and brain are healthy and strong.' Thank you God in me Thank you God. And so it is.

eph2810 said...

Oh, Amy. I am so sorry to hear that. I will be lifting you up in prayer...


Dawn said...

Amy, I am so very sorry. I just wanted to let you know my family will be praying for you ...

jackie said...

praying for you hear in the UK, Amy. How beautiful your peaceful attitude is. You changed our day.

Anonymous said...

you are in my prayers...

flipflop said...

oh Amy I'm so sorry to hear this news. I've been praying and keeping up with your blog for some time now and I know that you are an amazingly strong woman who I'm sure has passed on your courage to your family members. God is with them as He is with you as well. Praying for your families journey during this time.

Linda said...

Amy - I can hardly see for the tears. I am so very sorry. I have been praying for you for a long time. So often the Lord brings you to mind, and I lift you before him. I continue to pray. Your sweet spirit blesses my heart. There are no easy words.

Jessica said...

Today is the first time I have visited. My heart breaks reading your post but God is so great and I pray that He will keep you and your family strong! I will pray for healing as well!

Is. 41:10

lindsay said...

Amy - I'm here thru a link on a friend's blog. My heart breaks for your family. What you are going thru is something I fear....dying young and leaving my family behind. We will be praying for you here in Des Moines, IA - I'll be asking my church community to pray for you, too.

A reader above wrote the words I was thinking as I was reading, weeping...."On the road marked with suffering, though there's pain in the offering, Blessed be Your name." Words can't express how much pain and compassion I'm feeling for you and your family right now. You are strong and courageous, Amy. What grace you are facing this with. Grace.

Anonymous said...

Amy, I am praying for you and your precious family.

Mountain Mama said...

I was at Diane J's blog and she suggested I visit you.
You are in my heart and my prayers Amy. I can't imagine how devestated you must feel.
I am glad that you know the Lord, he is everything we need in every circumstance of our life. God bless you and yours.

Keltybug said...

Amy I am so sorry for what you have been dealt. My heart breaks for you and I am and will always pray for you and your family.

Kristen said...

Prayers coming your way for you and for your family that you will all have peace during this time. I am so sorry.

Anonymous said...

We ARE praying for you, as well as your family.....Thank you for your words of encouragement that speak volumes to all of us who cannot imagine what you must be going through.

crygibb said...

Amy, Please know that I am praying for you and your family. I cant imagine what you are feeling right now, but my heart breaks for you.

Laura said...

I've been reading your blog for awhile and now I sit here sobbing for you and your family. I am so sorry. Your strength and faith is amazing and you have touched me deeply. My continued prayers.

Pamela said...

Amy, you will continue to have my heartfelt love and prayers. I had so hoped the outcome for you and Brandon would have been better but God knows best and it is not necessarily for us to understand his ways but to trust him with all our hearts! It is tough to be faced with our own mortality and all I can say is keep the faith, stay as positive as you can and remember that miracles can and do happen everyday! Blessings to you all...

Anonymous said...

I'm praying for you!

Are you aware of chemosensitivity testing? It can help tailor chemo to just what will kill your specific cancer cells. You can read more here:

(I have no vested interest; I'm just a medical writer who happens to write about this area frequently, and I thought of it while reading your blog today)

Proud Daughter of Eve said...

My prayers go out for you and your family. God bless you.

Beth said...

My prayers are with you today. I will never cease praying as you must never cease believing in YOUR cure.

May you feel the love and prayers surrounding you today and always.

Texas Gal said...

Is there even words to say at a time like this...I will be praying for you and your dear loved ones.

Mommy Dearest said...

This is my first visit, but I was referred here from other blogs today. Your story and your beautiful attitude have touched me. May God bless you and your family.

Grafted Branch said...

Heart breaking. Fervently praying. Embarrassed to even try and say more.

The Lord bless you. The Lord make His face to shine upon you and give you peace...

Anonymous said...

I am so sad, I thought you had this all behind you. I have asked our church's prayer chain to pray for you. I'm not sure of the number on the chain, but I know your name has been lifted up to the Almighty and will be for days to come.

If God can create a universe of undescribable magnificance,I know He can control the microscopic. He knows our bodies because He created them and He can heal them. In this I trust and have confidence that He can perform the miracle that we ask for as we pray for you.

I held you when you were a baby and I wish I could hold you now. If I could lay my hands on you and pray for God's grace and healing, trust that I would be begging God for His mercy. But because of the distance we are apart I cannot do that, so please know that I am asking God for His favor to completely heal you as I sit here and type you this note.

I am expecting a miracle........
Uncle Cliff

Lisa said...

Coming over from BooMama's. It is my privilege to pray for you and your family and I will be doing so fervently. Because of Him, Lisa

Rachel said...

Here from Diane's Place. I have tears now after reading this. Thank you for your words. I went back and read your first blog entry, plus some others. My heart hurts for you and your family. I think your blog has been a real inspiration for everyone reading it and I wish I had found it sooner. I will pray for you and your family during this difficult time. God Bless You!

Becky said...

My heart hurts for you and your family. I just learned of you and your prayer blog. Please know that I will lift you and your family up in prayer. Your attitude towards this all is a great testiment of God's love. Thank you for sharing with us.
With love & prayers,

Anonymous said...

Amy and Brandon,
Your mom just called and told me the results of the biopsy. I am so, so sorry to hear. It's even hard to express it in adequate words.
I have read the blog from the beginning and know how much the Lord means to you. I am so thankful that you both know Him and know of His love, grace and power.
I think of the saying from the
Hiding Place when Corrie Ten Boom's
sister tells her "that there is no hole that God is not deeper still",
I pray that you will feel the everlasting arms of God holding you both up right now during these days of uncertainty and decision.
Please know that our family will continue to bring you all before the Throne continually as you meet with the doctors tomorrow and all the decisions in the days to come.
I can only send a hug through the blog to all of your family, but know that we love you very much.
We will continue to pray that God
will have His perfect will as we
long to have Him grant you many years with your loved ones. We too will ask the Lord for the hope of
Love, Aunt Kathy and gang

Anonymous said...

Amy, I am so sorry. My heart just breaks for you. I was really hoping for something positive this time. I just can't believe this. God still loves you, don't ever lose that. I will still continue praying for you.
Tammy Rigsby

Tina said...

You and your family are in my prayers!

Laura said...

I just found your site-I'm so sorry to hear your latest news and will be praying for you and your family.

Jen said...

God Bless you and your family.

Joe.Karen said...

Dearest Amy,

We are praying, and praying, and praying for you and your family. What a beautiful heart you have. You are a blessing to so many. God bless you.

As For Our House...We will serve the Lord. said...

I wept as I read your post....for two reasons....

One - my heart breaks for you and your family. I, too, have prayed for you, Brandon and Gary.

Two - As I read through your archives, I was touched so deeply by your words...I wonder if you can even fathom the impact that you are having on others as you share your faith through this. You are inspiring an amazing number of people as you cling to God in this trial.

I have no doubt that the Omnipotent God we serve is able to cure you of this...and I pray that He chooses to do so. But, Amy, should He not...I have no doubt that He will greet you with the biggest, loudest "WELL DONE, GOOD AND FAITHFUL SERVANT" have made an ETERNAL impact on so many lives, Amy!!! Mine being one.

You are in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

Brandon & Amy,
We are praying that God would continue to give His grace to you both. You are such inspiring examples of giving glory and praise to God, while patiently accepting His Sovereign will.
With love,
Dale & Megan

PastorMac's Ann said...

Oh Amy, my heart is breaking for you and your precious family. I will pray for a miracle and for peace in whatever miracle God chooses for you.

Anonymous said...

What precious words you have written, Amy. I am praying for you and for your family right now.


Happymama said...

God be with you, Amy. Praying for you and your family during this time.


Joanna said...

Sweet Amy, Trust ye in the Lord forever, for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strenth.

Psalm 102;11 For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him.
12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.
13 Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him.
14 For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust.
15 As for man, his days are as grass: as a flower of the field, so he flourisheth.
16 For the wind passeth over it, and it is gone; and the place thereof shall know it no more.
17 But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children’s children;

Amy, you have had such an incredible impact on my life, and on the lives of those around you. I know so many who have never met you who have been encouraged and uplifted by your sweet, trusting spirit. I pray that someday the Lord will use me as He has you.

May the Lord Jehovah bless you with peace. May your Gentle Shepherd hold you safe in his tender arm of mercy and strength. May you find rest in Him, who is our Hiding Place. May Jesus be the song of your heart. May the Omnipotent God be forever by your side.

In Christ,
Joanna Burks

Theresa said...

I just wanted to say how sorry I am about the results, and to give you my experiences with a neighbor widower who has raised his children from 4 and 5 years old alone after their mother died from cancer. I am there for the children when they need me, to offer motherly advise, to help put things into perspective now and then and to just take them out of the house alone to get a break. The children are now teenagers and are doing well. The thing I would have liked their mother to do was to write them letters or something like that for their future. It seems that for the few years she was diagnosed with breast cancer she felt that is she had any doubt that she would not be healed she wouldn't be, so she never planned on a future for her children without her. They would have benefited greatly from some letter or video, anything expressing how much their mother loved them and reasurring them that they were going to get through this. I only go to meet them 2 years after her death, but I know she was a remarkable woman. I will continue to pray for you and your family.

Anonymous said...

Hi Amy
This is the first time I have been at your blog, I was directed here through a blog I was reading on homestead blogger. I can only say how sorry I am that you and your family are going through this. You have amazing faith and strength, and I pray that this will feed and sustain you in this time, and that your husband will be comforted also. I will be keeping you in my prayers.

Gwen said...


I have been praying for you and your family for a while now. I'm not sure what to say except that I will continue to pray. Thank you for always sharing your story with us. I know you have helped many by telling it.

Still praying!

Anonymous said...


I just stumbled onto your blog and read your it for the first time this morning. Wow! My perspective about how to face my day has completely changed. Somehow, my problems of dust and laundry piles, and a sick child just don't seem that big today.

I am so sorry for all you have endured and especially for this latest bad news. I am inspired and touched by your brave spirit and unwavering faith. You clearly have been a blessing to so many.

I pray God's will is to keep you here longer so you can continue to be a bright shining light for Him. I know He can heal and will pray that is His will for you.

Thank you for your beautiful words. May God grant you physical and spiritual comfort and healing.

With many prayers,
Lisa in TX

Anonymous said...

just wanted to say 2 things

I would love for people not to pray for healing but only for God's will to be done.

My dear mother passed away in January after a long illness - she only asked 2 things that She would be given the grace she needed to get her to heaven and that her family wouldn't have to suffer.
I will pray these for you.

Elaine in Northern Ireland

Brenda Pardoe said...

So sorry to hear that you are going through this. Will keep you in my prayers. May God give you and your family that strength that you need to make it through this hard time.

Robin said...

God Bless you and your sweet family with grace and understanding. I'm so sorry.

Anonymous said...

I'm praying for you. Your faith is amazing..

~Ashley Michele~ said...

Dear Wilhoite family,
I am terribly sorry to hear this. My heart breaks for you all.
I've commented before, but you may not remember me. I'm a friend of Joanna Burks'. My mother died on February 3, 2006. I know how hard it can be when the doctors say it's over.

I just wanted to let you know that I love you all with the love of the Lord, and that, even thought the prognosis is dim, I haven't given up on praying for your recovery, if that's what the Lord wishes to do.

Praise God, He is not bound by circumstances! I know He'll work this out for the ultimate good...He always does.

I love you, and continue to pray.
Blessings on you,

Terri, Rory, Alyssa, & Lanae said...

Oh, Amy - You, Brandon, and your little one are being held very close to our hearts in this time.

~ Terri, Rory, Alyssa, and Lanae

Anonymous said...

Brandon, Amy, and family,
We, as so many, are hurting for you. Life changes so quick, as you said in your blog. The only constant, our only hope in any affliction, is in a loving, faithful Sovereign God who says "My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways." Our way was to have you healed with this transplant; it was our hope...our prayer...our desire too. God's way seems different...but He is still the same loving God caring for you, working through you, comforting you, strengthening you. Psalm 46:10 (10 biopsies, right?): "Be still, and know that I am God". What a comfort His Word is at all times!

May you find rest and peace in the promises we have even when the glass we see through is so dark. (I Cor. 13:12)
We continue in prayer for your peace and wisdom in the midst of the storm.

Our love to all,
Clayton, Lisa, Sadie, and Maggie

Granny said...

Dear child. You don't know me but I'll keep you in my prayers.

V. said...

Hi Amy,

I come from a different perspective I'd like to share with you / encourage you with.

We lost my mom to cancer when I was 13, my sister was 8 and my brother was 16. We all watched and lived with the whole ordeal.

As much as that has had implications / scarred my life, there is one thing I know for sure.

I know my mom prayed for me. I know she prayed for her yet-to-be-known son-in-law, her yet-to-be-born grandson. I know she covered all the issues in my life with prayer.

Even when her speech failed and she could only communicate with a squeeze of the hand, I know she was praying. She prayed as she stroked my hair, she prayed as she watched us in her sick room. Her spirit was connected to God's spirit and He prayed through her.

There is none so strong as a praying mother, or her prayers over her children.

If your stop on earth was to be brief, just imagine the impact your prayers can have.

The Spirit of God is so evident in you. During moments of brokenness, draw on that.

With our own love and prayers reaching to you, we join God's spirit in praying for your family.


Michelle said...

I've been following your story and keeping your family in my prayers; I really thought you were on the road to remission after the transfusion and the initial good follow up reports. I'm so very sorry to hear this news. I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers.

Anne said...

Oh, Amy! I am so, so sorry. I check your web site often and this is not what I expected to read today.

Please know that I'll continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I will continue to hope for the best, the very best.

Greenville, SC

Cmommy said...

Amy, I wish I could hug you. {{{{{}}}}}
Prayers from my corner of the world...Chrissy

Gena said...

I just found your blog. I will begin praying for you today. My son (18) is a 3-year lymphoma survivor. He just had his latests tests. I know how hard this is on you and your family. I will pray without ceasing. May the peace that only God can give be with you.

Julie said...

Just found your blog and wanted to add to your prayer team. God bless.

Becky said...


We'll never meet this side of heaven. But one day when I see you on the streets of gold, I'll give you a big squeeze and say simply, thank you. Thank you for your unswerving testimony. Thank you for the faith that you have inspired in me and in countless others.
I have no words of comfort or wisdom beyond this, just tell your family and friends and loved ones to look to the heavens, because reunion and glory could be just a flicker away. It is truly only a veil of tears, a breath, a heartbeat that separates us from those who have gone before...and in Jesus, we are always together. May God bless you, and if it's in His almighty will, may God give miraculous healing and extend your life's journey for His own glory. Love in Jesus,

Anonymous said...

Oh Amy I am so sorry. I will pray daily for you and your family...God has the LAST word, and he is the great HEALER>>>I will pray for that healing....Blessing to you and your family........Debbie

Anonymous said...

Your strength is an inspiration. We're all praying for your return to good health.

African mum said...


I dont know how i got to this website. I was just searching for some thing to uplift my spirit and help me with situations that are wearing me down. I know for sure the lord led me here. i am still in tears Amy, my heart reaches out to you and your entire family, God has plan for you even in the midst of all these afflictions, I know i worship a God who is unfailing in his love towards us. He is there for you Amy. Just hold on tightly to him, when it feels like that hold is getting loose, hold on tightly to his garment.dont ever let him go. I am glad you havent lost your faith in him. Believe this "God's Promises are new every morning". There is a new light coming your way.

lightshines said...

Amy and family, I am so sorry. Still praying!

Anonymous said...

I am sorry to hear of your illness. I just found this blog via a link from one I read. I wanted to let you know one more person is praying for you and your family. I have a cousin who has the same thing you do and the dr has also only given her a short time to live. Together you can rejoy in heaven

theresa said...

Lifting you up...Theresa in AZ

Anonymous said...

I have always heard the saying "Don't sweat the small stuff", and I am sure on a few occasions I have even said it myself but it never had impact on me really until now, We all get rapped up in our own problems and lives and just when I think my problems are unbearable, I get a reality check such as this, My heart is aching for you and your family today, my prayers are for you today, Amy...May God hold you in his hands and protect you. Always, Michea Nicholson- Arkansas

Anonymous said...

Amy, I'm thankful that I made my first visit here tonight. Your beauty of heart and spirit is a refreshing mist on my mind. I have been pondering the "giving thanks in all things" lately. It is hard at times to see God's hand and glory in the daily strife that comes our way.

Know that prayers are being lifted up for you all. With God on His throne, great things will come of this. Although I naturally wish that He would give me a glimpse at the whole picture, I rest assured that in time it will be revealed. He still works miracles. Whether that be in your being cured or in lives being touched by and through you only He knows. I will pray for healing and His ultimate will.

Thanks for sharing and allowing us to be part of something greater.

Honey said...

I am praying for you. Your words reveal the beauty of Christ in your heart, and you have blessed me deeply.


Desert Songbird said...

Here via Southern Girl's blog:

"May the Lord bless you and keep you; may He shine His face upon you and give you peace."

My heartfelt prayers for you and your family; keep strong. With the God of the Impossible, there is always hope!

Jammy said...

I just learned of your blog & situation today. My heart is just broken for you and your precious family. I cannot imagine what they are dealing with, but I want you to know I will be praying for them and for you! God does work in mysterious ways, ways we cannot make sense out of in the here and now. We must trust in Him fully! That said, I will pray for a complete healing.

I'm also going to put something out there for you to look at. Some may choose it is not for them, but I have to at least let you know about it:

Much Love and Prayers,

Anonymous said...

Hello Amy,
I just heard about your situation today and was about to send you some info about Dr. Schultz's incurables program when I saw that someone had sent you the link already. We use his products and have friends that have had tumors and other conditions and were healed. This is not a promise of healing, but it may help you as it has helped so many others. But as you know, the Lord is in control and I praise the Lord for your testimony and am challenged in my faith. May God bless you and keep you, may He make His face shine upon you and give you peace, may He comfort your family and friends, and may He give the wisdom and direction needed for your family. In Christ's precious name, Mrs. Comstock

Anonymous said...

amy, just found your blog through a link from a friend. Your faith ha inspired me, because we have a wonderful all wise Heavenly Father who is in control and never makes a mistake. I'll be praying for His grace and peace to wrap you and your family in this heartbreaking time. ~ a sister in Christ in NY

Anonymous said...

The first sentence of this post very very heartbreaking and beautiful. Know that you are always in my prayers. There is nothing that I can say except God Keep (and I know He is). You are loved.